The House Always Wins

by Wenceslao Almazan

$19.00 + free shipping

Color Kelly Green

Style Tee

Size

Fit

Quantity Limit 15 per customer

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Standard - Estimated delivery Jan 9 - Jan 11
Express - Estimated delivery Jan 6 - Jan 8
Standard International - Estimated delivery Jan 14 - Jan 16
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Veghiss, Baby, Veghiss

Welcome to the Anaconda Casino! We’ve got a room waiting for you! Ask the desk clerk about our special “high roller” rates.

I gotta tell you, Jackie, when you said you knew a little place, I didn’t think you had any idea what you were talking about. But maaaan! You got some STYLE! Hey, hey, did you get a load of these casino walls? Real snakeskin? Get outta here! They must’ve sank some serious money into the design of this place. And look how it’s all laid out! It’s like they never want you to leave!

Okay, so here’s the plan. I’ll go get the room, and you take a little tour of the casino floor and find all the games. Then we’ll meet at the buffet and grab a bite. All you can eat, huh? Crab AND pizza? Wow! After that, maybe a few hours at the slots, get some free alcohol, then maybe we can talk to the concierge about having some girls swallowed for the night. Hey, don’t get all prudish on me now, Jackie. It’s legal here, remember? Them snakes took care of everything when the built this town!

Oh, Jackie! Jackie, wait! Wait! Look at that hat! You see that? I gotta go in there, I gotta… Yeaaaaaah. Jackie, do you think this hat makes me look like Sinatra? It does, right? I think so too. Really brings out my… yeah, I’m buyin’ this hat. ‘Scuse me, miss, I want to go ahead and get this… Wait, I can just charge it to the room? And get right back to the games? Ha ha! Jackie, this place is GREAT! Man, I’m NEVER leaving! NEVER!

Wear this shirt: when out with your own personal Rat Pack.

Don’t wear this shirt: when playing gnulette. Veldt games have a very strict hierarchy, you see.

This shirt tells the world: “You think this is bad, you should see what happens in Atlantic City.”

We call this color: Kelly Green started out with Sammy, but then Sammy went for Joey so she went after Dean, only Dean was scared of commitment so he left her for Marilyn, but then Marilyn went after Jack, so Dean had to take Joey and since Sammy wasn’t interested any more, Kelly Green ended up doing some work in Italy and eventually married some producer in Monaco.

Features

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