Clean socks? Kid, there’s a whole world full of clean socks! Sit here beside my hobo camp and I’ll sing you a song about it.

At the Big Pink Smiley Mountain
Lost socks have fun all day
The water’s warm, they never shrink
On great big slides they play

At the Big Pink Smiley Mountain
The sun has little hands
There’s a black hole too
That they come through
And they even put a couple of horns on one or two
At the Big Pink Smiley Mountain

At the Big Pink Smiley Mountain
The trees are made of yarn
There’s a giant argyle monster
But he don’t mean no harm

At the Big Pink Smiley Mountain
All button eyes are free
No one is torn or inside out
And everybody has a extra fake account
At the Big Pink Smiley Mountain

Wear this shirt: because if you don’t, it might wind up in the laundry, and that might stir up some crazy ideas among your socks. This is the sort of thing that can incite a rebellion.

Don’t wear this shirt: with stockings. Wait, that actually sounds kinda hot. Forget we said anything.

This shirt tells the world: “Sock it to me!”

We call this color: Lemon-Scented Fabric Softener

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