Come in, oh great one, and tell me what you have seen of the enemy in your dreams.

“Oh, it is not good! Not good at all! They will be here before the week’s end!”

Tell me your visions! Tell me so that I can prepare my men!

“I fear there is no preparation great enough for what approaches. In my dreams, I see feathers! Thousands of feathers with malicious intent!”

They have trained falcons to attack us? Well, then we shall train archers to shoot down the falcons! We shall fill the sky with arrows!

“No, no. Not birds. The feathers, they no longer rest upon wings.”

Feathers off of birds? But how can this be a weapon?

“When hundreds of them are gathered and confined into a cloth sack, that is how!”

Wait, a sack of feathers? You mean like pillows?

“Yes! Very much like pillows, except these bring pain instead of comfort, unrest instead of rest!”

But they’re just pillows?

“Yes, but mind you these are not filled with down or made of memory foam! They are filled with feathers!”

Yeah, I got that part…

“I see, in my dream, the sharp-ish end parts poking through the cloth! When heaved at a face, that could incur somewhat serious injuries!”

Like what?

“Well, I will tell you! You see, I woke, this very morning, from a nightmare about a scratched cornea!”

Okay cool, oh great one, sounds terrifying, but can we wrap this up now? I gotta go tell the troops that they can take some time off.

Wear this shirt: to bed… err.. I mean, to “your plush weapons display case!”

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re too much of a softy to fight LIKE A MAN!

This shirt tells the world: “Don’t mess with me or I’ll lay your head to rest, understan’?”

We call this color: cream, as in what I’m going to do to you if you dare step in the ring with me!

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