The movies. It’s always about the movies. “Oh, I heard that was terrible!” you say, buying a ticket anyway. “Oh, it’ll be nice to get out of the heat for a few hours!” you say, walking past the Snack Bar. “Oh, I hid a sandwich in my jacket pocket!” you whisper to your best friend.

What about the snacks? It looks white and fluffy now, but that popcorn started out as a farmboy with a hard yellow-orange shell. That soda had to study the craft a long time before it found the right mix of syrup and water. And over three hundred different animal parts joined together to go from “rejected scraps” to “hot dog”.

Look at them with their arms open. They’re here for you. You’re the reason they even exist. The whole point of their world. Forget the crapfest in Theater 6, today you’re the big Hollywood producer and they’re the young runaway at the bus stop with no place to go. C’mon. They only want to follow their dream.

This shirt was designed by: fabiosimple, a Brazilian designer who knows the secret language of the Jaguar People that walk among us. Which rocks, because we’ve always had a crush on Nastassja Kinski. Can you introduce us, fabiosimple?

Wear this shirt: at a carnival, circus or fair. Maybe the baseball game. Or an amusement park might work. Basically anywhere a cheeseburger is going to cost you a sawbuck.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re going to a business negotiation. They might think you’re implying that you’re ready to make concessions.

This shirt tells the world: “My shirt cost less than the Candy And Large Drink Value Combo!”

We call this color: Fresh Squeezed Lemon-Impediment

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