Marching is for chumps.

In the time it takes the rest of these losers to walk a mile, we’re gonna see the whole continent, baby! We’re gonna see all that Antarctica has to offer in one quick trip!

Just look over there! That’s the ice block I grew up on! And over there – that’s the ice block that you grew up on! And there between them, that’s the ice block where we met!

This region we’re entering now is known for its cold temperatures and thick ice. The next region is the warmest part of Antarctica. The ice there isn’t as thick as everywhere else. I guess. It’s still too thick to measure the depth. But it just doesn’t feel as thick, you know?

Over there is a research facility. They study ice. And over there, you can see a helicopter landing to bring samples of ice from other places to compare to our ice. I read the report they put out. It said our ice won.

Hey let’s stop here for a minute and just admire the ocean. Yes, I agree. It is beautiful. But also kind of sad. All that water never realizing its potential to become something great, something solid.

Something like ice.

Wear this shirt: on a Roman Emperor Penguin holiday.

Don’t wear this shirt: to the mechanic’s if it looks like you’ve blown a seal.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m the Ves-pa-round! Nothing’s ever gonna keep me down!”

We call this color: Lemon sherbert.

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