Need something to wear to the big premiere this weekend? Sorry, we're not offering any movie-related t-shirts here. But we will sell you this fetching little frock, featuring a humorously negative commentary on its own unimaginative design and dubious legality. Whether you're insulting your customers at the comic store, bulldozing a burlesque house, or speeding to your doom aboard a runaway monorail, you can finally stop wearing the same outfit every Sunday night.

This shirt was designed by: one of our flesh bags in Sector 7-G.

Wear this shirt to: see that new movie. You know, the one where Catherine Zeta-Jones plays a Manhattan power chef who adopts her adorable niece (Abigail Breslin) after a family tragedy. Can an eccentric, playful sous-chef (Aaron Eckhart) salvage this recipe for disaster? Find out this Friday!

Don't wear this shirt to: your meeting with those 20th Century Fox executives.

This shirt tells the world: "I have my own idiosyncratic, individual way of participating in mass-media hype. Take that, The Man!"

We call this color: Hair of Blue.

Back to top