Nobody’s there. I should go down there. Should I go down there? What would I say? I should just say whatever pops in my head. Nobody’s there. I have to go down there.

“Um, hi, I, well, live, sorta, in the neighborhood, and, um, I just, sorta, moved in this week, you know, and, well, I thought maybe, you know, I saw you here just hanging out, you know, just sort of glanced out the window and there you were, and, well, that’s a really nice shade of red, you know, I hope you get compliments all the time, and, I mean, I’m sure you do, but, if you don’t, I mean, if you don’t have anyone to give you compliments, I figured, you know, since I’m new here, and sort of, I guess, don’t know anyone yet, I might, I don’t know, maybe we could… wow, is that always on fire like that? I guess it’s warm in the winter. It must be nice to stand out here with someone in winter. I guess you might already know about… wow, that truck sure is loud… oh, is that guy your… I guess he is… or maybe that one is… so, guess you like firemen, huh… wow, that’s really… him too? Well, you have to keep your options open, that’s what I… Oh, my, I’ve never seen… doesn’t that get tiring? And in public? Okay, well, I guess I’ll leave you guys alone then. Oh, I, um, got these flowers, I… kinda just found them, you know, lying around. I don’t know what loser bought them, probably some dummy who doesn’t know anything. Maybe I could give them to… my mom, I guess. She’d like them. So take care. Tell your firemen friends I said take care. Okay, I guess. Goodbye.”

Wear this shirt: because you were crazy about it from the very first second.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you go out without your tall golden wingman. When you’re trapped by a bunch of Jawas who want to talk about nothing but Dave Matthews, you’ll be praying for his help.

This shirt tells the world: “The bot wants what it wants.”

We call this color: We Can’t Think Of Any Jokes About Romance And Creme That Won’t Get Us Fired

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