And yet ol' Isaac got the knighthood. The world's so unfair.

Once there was a tree …

And she loved

Isaac Newton

very, very much

-even more

than

she loved

herself.

And Isaac Newton was indifferent to the tree.

And the tree was irritated.

Time went by, and Isaac Newton got older.

One day, Isaac Newton came to the tree and the tree said, “Come, Isaac, you’ve been working on this gravitation thing for ages. Let me show you something.”

And the tree dropped an apple on Isaac Newton’s head.

“Ow! Hey, you turd. That hurt.”

Isaac Newton was not happy.

The tree said, “I wanted to show you how gravity works.”

Isaac Newton was very frustrated.

“That hardly shows me HOW it works, you imbecile. I already KNOW stuff falls down. There’s a whole host of calculations at work when things drop, you useless pile of bark. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

The tree still had many apples left.

She was angry at Isaac Newton.

So she pummeled him repeatedly with fruit until he was bruised and he ran away.

“THIS IS WHY YOU DIDN’T GET INTO OXFORD!” She yelled as he fled.

Then Isaac Newton was gone.

And the tree was happy.

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