1st place in Derby #460: Grayscale with 93 votes.

You wanna watch a movie? Yeah, I've got all the hottest new releases! On Gray-Ray!

Wait, you haven't heard of Gray-Ray? Dude, it's the biggest thing to happen since color television. Except it's the opposite of color television. Because it turns everything grayscale.

And that's not it. You know that high-quality Dolby Digital Surround we've all come to know and love? Well, that's out the window! Gray-Ray turns even the sharpest, most well-mastered movie into a big pile of crackling static. And what's more, thanks to miraculous Un-Sync technology, Gray-Ray guarantees that the spoken dialogue and sound effects will never sync up correctly with what's happening on screen!

Yeah, okay, I'll admit, it's actually a pretty crappy viewing experience. But there's one real perk: the Gray-Ray Player goes through every movie and replaces the digital effects with cool old-school camera tricks and puppets.

See, I told you you'd love it! Or maybe I didn't! It's hard to remember the stuff I say... BECAUSE I'M A GHOST!

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