A word of advice for you tortured, artistic types: People don’t find
that schtick deep; they just think you kind of kill the party. All that
sullen, shoegazing music you like; the Sartre books; the cutting—sure,
it makes you seem “intense,” but it’s also exactly this much fun: None.
Now, we’re not going to ask you to completely reinvent
yourself overnight. But would it kill you to splash just a little bit
of color into your otherwise funereal wardrobe? Consider this here
shirt. It’s black, so it’ll match your skinny jeans and dour
demeanor—but it’s tastefully adorned with a tree, universal symbol of
life and renewal. Hopeful, right?
Of course, like the hole
where your heart should be, this tree’s leafy branches are defined by
negative space—but unlike said hole, they’re handsomely set against a
rainbow swatch of gently mood-enhancing color.
You know what? We like you a little better already. Gee, this is going to be a great day after all!
This shirt was designed by:
Michael Clinger, an animator fresh out of college, currently working as
an animator/compositor for Ball State University. If you’ve got work
for him, contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Wear this shirt to: the Panic! at the Disco show.
Don’t wear this shirt to: a home with multiple cats, unless you’re packing a lint brush.
This shirt tells the world: “My heart leaps up when I behold rainbow in the sky. Or near my remaining kidney.”
We call this color: Black as Your Soul.
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