Somewhere, beneath the ground, it slumbers.

In the warmth, with just enough moistness, it begins. The slow splitting of the shell. The persistent shoving out and up. The dirt parts just a little bit, and then a little bit more. A root, a stem, a branch.

A thousand years from now, this might be the largest tree in the world. Or it might be the bookcase of a famous lawyer. Or it might be the floor of the nightclub onto which the latest young starlet collapses in drunken hysteria. Or maybe it will be the cane an old man uses to chase away a mugger. Or a toothpick. A really good toothpick right before an important date. A toothpick that gets out a big piece of spinach that would have been a dealbreaker and as such is responsible for the event that leads to the birth of the guy that builds the first faster than light spaceship. Yeah, that kind of toothpick.

There’s so much potential in that little seed. So many options. Will it survive the winter? Will it get eaten by a squirrel? Will it grow to be some kind of Tree Stalin, tearing up the pavement with its roots and smashing waterpipes and power lines until it is finally brought down by the chainsaw that ends its reign of terror once and for all? Guess we’ll just have to wait and see. All we know is, something’s coming.

Wear this shirt: when you’re trying to convince DC Comics to reboot Swamp Thing. Too bad he missed out on the big space zombie story, that would have been a cool thing for him.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re being eaten by a giant. Did you know it could take like six years for a seed to pass through a giant’s digestive system? That’s so awful! If you’re wearing this shirt, and about to be eaten by a giant, take it off first. After all, there’s never any reason to be rude.

This shirt tells the world: “Seed E? That was planted by Kid A, wasn’t it? Let me look in the records…”

We call this color: Asphalt Might Not Be As Pretty But It Sure Keeps Those Allergies Away

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