I always get stuck with the weirdos.

I wish it wasn’t so expensive to own a car in this city; the people on this train drive me nuts. Look at that sliced turkey: hangin’ out all over the place, takin’ up five seats and sliding off the bread. No, no you’re fine pal. You’re the only one on the train. Pay no mind to us slobs just trying to get to work.

Ugh, this spinach lady always creeps me out. Looks like she needs a good wash, y’know? And the pickles are such salty jerks; always upset about something and looking for trouble. Ugh, looks like the tomato sat here last. Look I’m not a bigot or anything, it’s just that they leave those slimy seeds everywhere and it bugs me. It’s nothing personal.

I’m telling you man, as soon as I can scrape up some money I’m getting a car. I’m sick of having to deal with this, and-

Hey, is that a tunnel? I’ve never noticed a tunnel before. Do all tunnels have teeth?

Wear this shirt: To simplify your order at your local Quizno’s.

Don’t wear this shirt: If you’re really fat. The jokes kind of write themselves at that point.

This shirt tells the world: “The five second rule doesn’t apply to the third rail.”

We call this color: Cold Creme Cuts

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