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Theory of the Robot Voice

by ndikol

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Oct 29 - Oct 31
  • Express - Estimated delivery Oct 28
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Fan Speaking Basics

Man-to-fan interactions may seem simple, but there is actually quite a bit to take into consideration. For example…

When speaking into a fan, your voice will come out the other end sounding much like a robot. Because of this you are required to a) speak about topics that are particularly robotic for maximum believability, or b) speak about topics that are particularly human for maximum irony.

When speaking as a fan, make sure to expel 97% more air then usual and speak in a constant monotone voice. This will make it easier for the person you are speaking with to shut his or her eyes and imagine you as a fan.

When speaking with a fan, always take into to consideration cultural differences. Something that may seem universally unpleasant to you, may, to a fan, be a great source of happiness or pride. Starting the conversation by discussing something like how spinning makes you nauseous or how you hate when it’s windy outside is a surefire way to get off on the wrong foot.

When speaking down to a fan, make sure to call it a whirly-gigger-majigger or a brainless-air-thruster. Fans hate being called that!

Wear this shirt: to protest against blade-less fans.

Don’t wear this shirt: into the past; there’s a lot to explain before they’ll even have enough information to MAYBE get the joke.

This shirt tells the world: “LalalaLuuukkkee… Luuuuuukkkkeeee. I am your faaaaatherrrrrr.”

We call this color: slate noise; like white noise but tougher.

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
2m 42.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 4% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 27% one year old
  • 63% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Theory of the Robot Voice by ndikol
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.