Time Heals All
by Steven Lefcourt
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“Alright, people. Our ratings have been terrible for about a year. We’ve had pitches, but they’re all for vapid shows about socially inept misfits who can’t find love or something. Anyway, the network’s counting on us to bring something solid to the table. Let’s hear those ideas.”
“We were thinking about something with time travel.”
“Yes, solid. Audiences love that stuff.”
“Yeah, so, we’re thinking it’s a female lawyer who might be an alien, and she, uh. Travels through time.”
“This is great. How does she move through time?”
“What?”
“How does she transport herself across the dimension?”
“Oh, jeez. We didn’t even get that far. How about a skateboard?”
“Skateboards test well with the younger audiences. I like it. Just one question: What are we gonna do about the aging thing?”
“Huh?”
“Well, if this show takes off and lasts a while, the lead actress is gonna get older, obviously. And the older she gets …”
“GASP. People will stop watching.”
“Exactly.”
“What if she, like, replaced herself with a younger version of herself every few years? We could build it into the character's storyline … say she needs to adopt a new body to stay alive or whatever.”
“That’s great. And then we could continuously bring on more youthful and less expensive actresses!”
“The show will never end!”
“Guys, we’re gonna be rich forever.”
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