2nd place in Derby #56: Your Favorite Element, with 594 votes!

It was far ago and a long way away

They were both up gambling far too late
They had so much in common they should have been tight
But sometimes the sound of money mixes up the dark and light

Stag said to Billy “I gots me a tin”
And Billy said “Stag, ya dun it agin”
And Stag said “I think that’s the last of ya cash”
And Billy said “I ain’t goin’ out like that.”

Billy pulled out a gun and he went for the chest
But Stag just laughed like he was blessed
He said “Billy, I always knew you weren’t that smart”
Cause Billy forgot Stag hadn’t any heart

Then Stag caught Billy right square in the face
And Billy just crumpled like he was made of lace
And Stag took the gun and he emptied it fast
And Billy breathed in the breath that was his last
And Stag heard the sirens and grabbed all the cash
And broke for the window and kicked out the glass

And outside was the Sergeant and his dozen men
Stag yelled “I ain’t scared!” and went charging again
And they fired that bullet straight into Stag’s brain
And that’s how this plot became public domain.

Wear this shirt:  if you’re a boy or girl who grew up on a farm with your aunt and uncle and you always wanted more and then suddenly you were swept away to fight a magical evil among new friends. Because that apparently happens a whole bunch so it must be a HUGE market.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re not a firm believer in the works of Joseph Campbell, who taught that all heroes are aspects of a greater hero and therefore nobody can sue anybody ever.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m -5 vs Rust Monsters!”

We call this color: Maybe The Judge Will Let Us Avoid Prison By Joining The Navy

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