2nd place in Derby #259: Comfort Food, with 533 votes!

Wendelyn, my dear! Good news! I have located your prized apple!

Where? Well, that part's rather complicated. You see it seemed that the apple was consumed by a pig, who was then consumed by a man. Oh no, don't worry. I did not cut open the man, Wendelyn. Well, actually I did. But I mean, I didn't kill him and cut him open. He was already dead. And inside another man, also dead, but in the kind of living way.

Anyway, that man - the undead one - was actually inside an alligator, which was, itself, inside a truck - no, not driving it and wearing sunglasses, Wendelyn, though wouldn't that be a hoot! Alas, though, the truck was un-driveable, as it was inside of a whale, which had fallen into a volcano.

No, Wendelyn. Nobody ate the volcano. That'd be dangerous. Almost as dangerous as it was for me to climb into it with my surgical tools. But alas, here it is!

Well, of course it looks strange. It's been partially digested. 6 or 7 times over, in fact.

Wear this shirt: while eating mac-n-cheese.

Don't wear this shirt: while being eaten by mac-n-cheese.

This shirt tells the world: "I eat you, you eat me! We're a dysfunctional family!"

We call this color: navy this time, I'll take a bite out of you for a change.

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