Brothers and sister, Jins and Xias, are you ready for THE WRATH OF KHAN!? (Crowd cheers, screams.) He rides down from the mountain like an unholy spectre—and he killed his half-brother, some joker named Bekhter! (More screaming, applause.) He escaped the Ta’yichiuth ‘cause he can’t be held down, and he’s here to rock this joint ‘til it’s burned to the ground! (Wild, frenzied applause, weeping.) People, people! Get ready to be sacked! Attacked! With no time to react! (Screaming, cursing, speaking in tongues.) The one! The only! Uniter of the Central Asian confederations! Conqueror of the Kara-Khitan Khanate! Your main man and mine! GENGHIS! KHAAAAAAN! (Pandemonium, fainting, hysterics, seizures, applause.)

This shirt was designed by: HalloWoot veteran Pensketch, on a trial separation from his zombie muses.

Wear this shirt: in the vain hope that the conquering army might show you mercy.

Don’t wear this shirt: to Iran. They’re still sore. And there’s plenty of friction between Iran and the U.S. without you prancing around Tehran in your deliberately provocative t-shirt.

This shirt tells the world: “I, for one, welcome our new Mongol overlords.”

We call this color: Ulaanberry

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