Hello and welcome to “What Kind of Tree is That?” This week we’re looking at the Lorp’s Mandible Oak, so named for its evergreen leaves and bone-crushing jaws. The Lorp’s Mandible Oak is mostly hairless, unlike my producer’s mother’s upper lip. What, Carl? How do I know? Oh, I’ve "seen" your mother, Carl. Anyway, the Lorp’s Mandible Oak can mainly be found in hardwood forests and live up to 300 years, which is still younger than Carl’s mom - YEAH YOU HEARD ME, CARL - not to mention better looking I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. WHERE’S MY SANDWICH?
As I was saying, the Lorp’s Mandible Oak has hardy roots and a coarse bark. Speaking of bark, my producer’s mother … WHERE ARE YOU GOING OH YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA STOP THE SHOW? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITHOUT ME? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST UNPLU
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