So here we are. The one time of year when playing “Monster Mash” is socially acceptable. When everything is pumpkin colored and everyone is selling candy. The good kind, the bad kind, the kind that seems to actually be mislabeled shoe polish, it’s all there, right on the shelves.

Plus there are the costumes. A celebration of how we spend the whole year telling our kids to be themselves and then spend a whole month preparing them to be someone else. And if they do it well, they get rewarded! It’s like a one night only MBA.

But this year, Halloween is one of those special, magical times. A chance for everyone from eight to eighty to relive the excitement, the joy, the rush of fun and friendship and decadence that a mask can bring. That’s right, Halloween is on a Friday this year! Kick those kids out on the street and pop open a 40! The alien has a gun, they’ll be fine.

This shirt was designed by: Steven Lefcourt. This Halloween, he’ll be dressing as egg and asking people to beat it! Then he’ll probably spend the night in jail. But that’s good for an artist. Street cred.

Wear this shirt: when you are handing out candy. But if you don’t pay attention to what that yellow box is saying about shipping it might have to be next year’s candy.

Don’t wear this shirt: and expect to get a prize at the costume party. You will win nothing but scorn. And you cannot sell scorn on eBay. Not even by swiping one of our top-notch writeups.

This shirt tells the world: “Clothes make the man. Especially that wicked brain hat. Totally got to get one of those.”

We call this color: Orange You Ready For The Turkey Pirate Shirts To Start?

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