Let us give thanks to shirts and dead turkeys. 

OK folks, OK. Before we dig in I would just like to give some thanks. First, I want to say thanks to Shirt.Woot for setting up a catalog of EVERY shirt they've ever sold. I see we're all wearing our favorite Shirt.Woot shirts for this Thanksgiving dinner, which seems…it just seems right. I'm glad we didn't all wear "Bats!"

Second, I would like to thank this noble turkey, who gave her life for us today. We honor her by stuffing her body cavity with bread and celery, slowly baking her gutted body until her skin turns golden brown, and then making a sauce out of the fat that renders off her body and drizzling it over her own cooked flesh. We have endeavored to honor your ultimate sacrifice, noble bird.

Wear this shirt: at Thanksgiving dinner if you're really that much of a schlub.

Don't wear this shirt: around turkeys during mating season (they'll mount anything).

This shirt tells the world: "Survival of the giblets."

We call this color: Who ate olive the marshmallows off the top of the sweet potatoes?

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