Here, Otis—open the one from your Aunt Norma next. It’s so sweet of her to think of you every year.
Oh, that’s lovely! You know, she made that herself. Look at the reindeer! Goodness, it must have taken her forever. No, Otis, don’t take it off. Leave it on for the family picture. Don’t “c’mon Mom” me; leave it on. You’re wearing it in the picture. YOU’RE WEARING IT IN THE PICTURE. No, I don’t care if it’s scratchy, you leave that sweater on for the family picture.
Your friends will not tease you; it’s a beautiful sweater. OTIS, YOUR AUNT NORMA MAY NOT LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER CHRISTMAS, AND SHE WORKED A LONG TIME ON THAT SWEATER, AND YOU’RE GOING TO WEAR IT IF IT GIVES YOU HIVES, BECAUSE IT’S CHRISTMAS, AND THAT’S FINAL.
This shirt was designed by: one of the Woot elves, who labor all year long in our workshop to create wonderful things for you—never once complaining, never once calling in sick, and never once letting themselves be distracted by curiosity about what people are actually wearing these days.
Wear this shirt: if you're spending the holidays somewhere too warm to wear a sweater - like Florida, Arizona, or your Grandma's overcrowded, overheated family room. Where's the thermostat?
Don’t wear this shirt: after 1988, if you can help it.
This shirt tells the world: “My mother dresses me funny.”
We call this color: Go On And Encase Your Little Round Belly In Cotton That’s Colored A Light Green Of Kelly
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