2nd Place in Derby #294: You Be The Algorithm, with 241 votes!

At first, life with a fireball seems like it would be awesome. Think of all the problems a fireball could solve! That guy talking on his cell phone on the bus? I bet he'd shut up when faced with a fireball. Your neighbors who always leave their laundry in the laundry room for a week? They'd get their act together the first time they came down to a dryer full of charred shirts. Seriously, who would cross you? You got a fireball!

But then again, who would talk to you at all? Who would be brave enough to strike up a conversation with someone with a fireball? Probably not too many people. And the ones that would be, they'd probably be people you wanted to avoid. Pyromaniacs. Fireball fetishists. Real weirdos. People who see you not as a person but just an unfortunate extension of the fireball.

Yes, life with a fireball seems awesome at first, but in the end, it's lonely. Very, very lonely.

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