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Unicorn Steakhouse

by bassanimation

$19.00 + free shipping
Asphalt
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jan 27 - Jan 28
  • Express - Estimated delivery Jan 24
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

They said it couldn’t be done, but I did it!


Ladies and gentlemen of the steakhouse, I stand before you no longer just a man, but a man exactly 160 ounces heavier than when I sat down. And though my heart may be beating slower and with a frightening irregularity right now, it beats with pride! For I am the first man to complete the 10 pound unicorn steak challenge!

They scoffed when I said I’d attempt it. Two people died trying it before me. But dammit I did it! And I even had a side salad and two Pepsis on top of it!

Let all who would dine here forever after know my name and the deed that was done here, to be surpassed only by the deed I will soon have to do in the mens room! Soon EVERYONE will-

“Sir?”

WHO DARES INTERRUPT THE UNICORN KING?!

“Sir, you haven’t completed the challenge.”

What? No, no. I ate 160 ounces of unicorn meat in under an hour! What more could be left?

“Sir, the challenge clearly states that you must eat the horn as well.”

The…the horn?

“Yes sir. The horn. The 66-inch long, chitinous, solid horn.”

Oh…okay then.

“You still have 14 minutes left, if you want to attempt it.”

And it’s meat?

“No sir. Solid bone. To be perfectly honest, we added it to the contest as sort of a poison pill to ensure no one would ever complete it. I understand if you want to walk away.”

...all these people staring…NO! Bring me the horn! I shall eat it the long way!

Wear this shirt: On your next trip to the Sizzler. Make ‘em impress you.

Don’t wear this shirt: Around any youngsters or naively-hopeful adults.

This shirt tells the world: “Is red meat still bad for you if it’s full of sparkles and rainbows?”

We call this color: A fleet-footed asphalt with a horn a cubit and a half in length

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!

T-Shirts

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Women’s V-Necks

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Tank Tops

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Long Sleeves

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Pullover Hoodies

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Crewneck Sweatshirts

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Zip Hoodies

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Raglans

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Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 40.000s
First Sucker:
peacecake
Last Wooter to Woot:
trschwabe

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 22% one year old
  • 65% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

9%
4%
3%
2%
1%
2%
3%
5%
7%
7%
7%
6%
4%
4%
4%
4%
4%
3%
3%
4%
3%
3%
3%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

3%
2%
5%
78%
6%
3%
3%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Unicorn Steakhouse by bassanimation
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.