2nd place in Derby #89: Dinosaurs, with 923 votes!

Everyone gets on Chicken Little’s case for being an alarmist, but it’s not like she was totally crazy. The sky sometimes does fall. Look at what happened to the dinosaurs. The sky fell on them in a big, serious, mass-extinctifying way.

The fossil record shows us that birds are lizard-kin (they can do anythin’). You know, archaeopteryx and all that. That means that big, prehistoric dino-snuffing meteor basically landed on Ms. Little’s family. Imagine if that was you. Imagine if the sky fell and killed your (4,000,000)great-grandfather. And his father. And their sisters. And the sisters’ friends, and all their families and everyone they knew.

Wouldn’t you be a little paranoid about cosmic debris, too?

Wear this shirt: underneath your nicer shirts, and maybe it will absorb some of that anxious sweat you get every time you’re outside under open sky.

Don’t wear this shirt: wrapped around your head like a turban for additional protection against meteorites. It won’t help.

This shirt tells the world: “We’re doomed.”

We call this color: Nervous Navy.

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