92 Protons And What Do You Get?
1st place in Derby #56: Your Favorite Element, with 661 votes!
kids! Today we’re going to make high-density kinetic-energy penetrator
ammunition! That’s the ammo that’s so dense, hard, and flammable that
it can rip apart and incinerate an armored tank with one well-placed
First, get ahold of some depleted uranium (DU). You
can probably dig it up in canisters near a nuclear plant or nuclear
waste dump. Get Mom or Dad to help you open the hexaflouride tank it
was buried in. If you can’t find any, try contacting rogue elements
from the security apparatus of the former Soviet Union. They should
have some, for a price. Don’t worry – it’s not that radioactive!
mix it with another metal to create a stable alloy. Titanium always
works well, but don’t use too much or your ammo will lose its punch! 1%
or so oughtta do it.
Then, melt down your alloy and cast it
into ordnance. 30mm is probably the most popular calibre, but check
your arsenal to see what kind of weapons you have on hand. Don’t be
afraid to try something new. That’s what fun with depleted uranium is
Now you’re ready to join the 20 or so countries
already using depleted uranium weapons. Get out there and blow up a
tank or something, before DU usage is officially declared a war crime!
But remember: safety first!
This shirt was designed by: Derby contestant kdeuce, figuratively blowing away the competition.
Wear this shirt: if you don’t want anybody to sit next to you on the plane.
Don’t wear this shirt: to that clandestine meeting in Prague.
This shirt tells the world: “Ah, blow it out uranium.”
We call this color: Radioasphalt.
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