2nd place in Derby #153: Shakespeare, with 801 votes!

“Romeo, sweet Romeo!”

“My Juliet! Say you will be mine!”

“It can never be, sweet Romeo! For you, you are made from kittens and rabbits, and I, my father is a guy named Adder!”

“Juliet, no, wait! Let me woo you with my poetry, leading you to forget the wishes of your father and leap forth into my arms. Ahem ‘Yon dress, it would look finest were it unto the carpet!’ ‘Girl, will thy not backeth up and drop thyself like a flaming star from the Heavens?’ How was that?”

“Seriously? You’re Italian? Like, real Italian?”

“Well… Jersey.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Juliet, wait! C’mon, let me show you my car at least!”

“Wait, wait. Wait right there. Just let me get… ah! Here you go.”

“What’s this? A vial?”

“Yeah, my dad once said, if anyone ever offered me kittens and bunnies, I was supposed to give them this. Oh, but after you drink it, I’ll totally meet you a week from now at the Friar’s hut.”

“Sweet Juliet! My heart, it leaps like the flames when my brah Pete puts a lighter up beside his-”

“Okay! Okay! TMI, Romeo! Sheesh, at least we’re not losing a great poet.”

“What was that?”

“Never mind. Just chug it, okay?”

Wear this shirt: if you’re Olivia Hussey in the 1968 movie. Yeah, you know what we’re talkin’ about. You know.

Don’t wear this shirt: on the East Side.

This shirt tells the world: “No, seriously, he REALLY did write stuff OTHER than Romeo & Juliet.

We call this color: Whiter Than New Snow Upon A Raven’s Back, A.K.A. Mitt Romney

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