With Improved Two-Weapon Fighting Feat
Hold, interloper! I traverse these lands on orders from my liege, and I am sworn to see them through! Yea, ‘tis true, I wear no standard of heraldry. My lord believeth discretion to be the better part of knightly valor. He’s one of these privacy nuts; you know the type.
Such is the lot of the Black Knight—to serve no master, or to serve a master unknown! I perform this duty in the shadow of those valiant warriors who have gone before: Dane Whitman! Jamal Walker! And that quadruple amputee who guards the bridge in Holy Grail!
But though ye know not my lord’s name nor title, still am I bound by mine oath to him! And I shall uphold it, if it meaneth spilling thine entrails on the earth to mark the spot upon which you tried to detain me! Retreat, scoundrel, and preserve your life—or advance, have at, and get perforated!
Yeah! You better walk away! ‘Swhat I’m talkin’ ‘bout!
This shirt was designed by: Bard Hole Standal. Seriously. Saddled with a silly name unfit for international exposure, this Norwegian designer and illustrator has still managed to get his work featured in numerous design books, exhibitions, festivals et cetera all around the world. He lives in Oslo, but his art lives at HelloBard.com and StupidDevil.com.
Wear this shirt: On your very own real-life Knight’s Tour. That ought to keep you busy for a while.
Don’t wear this shirt: To travel in any manner other than two horizontal spaces and one vertical space (or vice-versa) at a time. You want to slide around diagonally? You’re going to need a Bishop shirt for that.
This shirt tells the world: “None shall pass.”
We call this color: Black Knight
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