3rd place in Derby #161:Double-Take Derby 10, with 822 votes!

Well, Mr. Roberts, I have good news and bad news. The bad news? You’ve definitely got the Herp. The good news? It is, without a doubt, the cutest case I have ever seen EVAR!!! It’s so adorable that we may have to change the name to the “Huggy Squeezy Virus”! Seriously, I have never wanted to cuddle with a blistering sore so much in my entire life.

Now don’t get upset. This happens to a lot of folks. I’m going to prescribe a cream and a daily suppressant for you to keep the scorching power of ADORABLE from making your loins too uncomfortable. Also, on a more personal note, you might consider alerting any partners you’ve had in the last year about your cuddly-wuddly condition. My guess is you picked this up from an anthropomorphic rainbow, animal, or food item that may not know they’re carrying the virus.

Wear this shirt: on your first day at medical school.

Don’t wear this shirt: on your first day at the hand sanitizer factory.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m crawling with sickness! HUG ME!”

We call this color: The Bouncy Black Plague

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