Four O’Clock! Rock!

“What’s this, daddy?”

“This is a very special place, sweetheart. This is the Hall of the Unknown Second Man.”

“What’s a Second Man, daddy?”

“A Second Man is a hero, honey. He’s that guy that stands between the time you’ve never played before and the moment you’re scared you don’t have another quarter. A Second Man is the one who rescues your Galaga fighter. A Second Man is the one who starts the next level after you missed a tiny bit of a Tempest spike. A Second Man is your chance to pick up that gear your first man dropped when he got caught in a trap.”

“Who’s that, daddy?”

“That’s a statue of a great man, sweetie. He gave his life so his ship could kill an alien at the top of the screen.”

“Why?”

“Because that alien ship made an irritating noise.”

“Did he get points, daddy?”

“Yes, he did, sweetie. Yes, he did.”

Wear this shirt: if you need a little space.

Don’t wear this shirt: between Mars and Jupiter. It’s bad luck.

This shirt tells the world: “Armageddon one’a dese!”

We call this color: Charlie, If You Hear Anything That Sounds Like “Beware, I Live”, You Fire Those Afterburners And You Don’t Look Black

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