If I may be so bold, I have a marketing strategy I’d like to share with the clan.
3rd place in Derby #236: Fish Out of Water, with 854 votes!
“You dare address the sensei, you insolent welp?!”
“Please, master, forgive me. I only seek to offer what meager assistance I may for the good of the clan.”
“I will forgive your transgression, for now. Speak, welp.”
“Master, it occurs to me that there is not much longevity in the life of a skilled assassin. Creeping through shadows, striking with exacting precision and melting away into the shadows does make us truly terrifying weapons at our lord’s disposal, but what does it do for our marketability?”
“Marketability?”
“Yes! Sensei, I see a bold new future for the mysterious ninja! Some day, perhaps long from now, we shall become heroes of pop culture! Several hundred years from now, in the distant land of America, the 1980s shall prove to be a time of rebirth for us. Movies, posters, stuffed toys, video games, everything shall be ninja!”
“And this benefits us how?”
“We shall no longer be shadowy outcasts of the night, but rather profitable figures of pop culture!”
“There is no honor in this. We are supposed to strike fear into the hearts of those who would dare oppose our master! How can we do so when airbrushed onto t-shirts at theme parks and fighting birds in video games?!”
“But in doing so, we shall live forever!”
“Here. Take this katana.”
“I…I have earned my own blade as an accepted member of the ninja clan?”
“No.”
“But then what am I-?”
“I’ll give you a hint. It rhymes with ‘Shmeppuku.’”
Wear this shirt: If you want.
Don’t wear this shirt: If you don’t.
This shirt tells the world: “Yep, ninjas and Waldo. Weren’t we all waiting for that crossover?”
We call this color: Where’s…Blackdo? That doesn’t sound right.
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