We may never know why nature saw fit to withhold the power of flight from certain of her birds. She can be a real capricious you-know-what sometimes. (Thanks for male pattern baldness by the way, nature! Just for that, I’m global-warming your sorry butt.)

What we do know, however, is that the best and bravest bird will push back against the constraints of his biology. He’ll create his own destiny. He’ll reach for the stars. And when his dreams end in inevitable failure, the rest of us will take a moment to remember the inspiring example he set for us, before sitting down to a delicious coal-roasted ostrich dinner.

This shirt was designed by: James Cho, enfant terrible of the Derby scene! He’s an unstoppable shirt-designing machine. He isn’t going to let a little thing like the shirt.woot staff’s penguin fatigue slow him down.

Wear this shirt: to Chandler, Arizona’s annual Ostrich Festival this weekend!

Don’t wear this shirt: to pick up your kids from Bible Camp, or risk getting a parenting lecture about how the ostrich leaveth her eggs in the earth, and warmeth them in dust, and forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them.

This shirt tells the world: ”’Striches get stitches.”

We call this color: Cremu

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