Janet, can you get Marketing on the phone for me?
It’s about the new uniforms.
Alex? Hey, it’s Bill. Listen, about the new unis- Well, it’s just…I don’t feel like I can get behind this design 100%, y’know? I just mean that it doesn’t scream “St. Louis Cardinals” to me. I mean this team is everything to this city and they’re big on tradition here. They don’t take kindly to change just for the sake of change and it’s going to be a tough sell getting them to go from the birds on the bat to, well, what the hell is this anyway?
Notes, sure. I can give notes, okay. Let’s see where to start. Okay, first off, the color of the jersey. I don’t know where you came up with the inspiration for yellow. I mean, it’s on no part of a cardinal. There’s not a big history in town with the color yellow. I just- McDonald’s? You think it ties in with McDonald’s? Well Alex, this is a MAJOR LEAGUE baseball club, NOT THE COMPANY SOFTBALL TEAM! White is good. Red is good. We even futz around with navy once in awhile, but yellow is out.
Okay, so on the positive, you do actually have a cardinal on there. I’ll give you credit. I just think the boss is going to want to see a better job BRANDING these things. We have to sell them, y’know? And if people don’t see “St. Louis” or “Cardinals” or some combination thereof on the front, they might get confused. Yeah, I know there’s a cardinal, I just said I acknowledge that fact. But we need something a little more prominent to make sure people know it’s a ST. LOUIS Cardinal.
Okay, after that it just goes completely downhill. We’ve got a rib cage, and several different species of bird on here which is extremely confusing, again thinking about branding. And then snakes? Why snakes? Snakes aren’t even a notable aspect of St. Louis. Can you explai-
WELL WHY WOULD YOU PUT SOMETHING THAT EATS CARDINALS ON A CARDINALS JERSEY, ALEX?!
No, no, this is a complete wash. We’re going back to the drawing board and I’ve got to find a new artist. This is almost as bad as that Turn Ahead the Clock fiasco.
Wear this shirt: On a nature hike. If you don’t see any animals out and about at least you can look at your belly.
Don’t wear this shirt: Indoors. People are going to get all freaked out.
This shirt tells the world: “This is the only thing I had with red on it and my significant other dragged me to this game.”
We call this color: Lead-off Lemon
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