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Beware, good friend, if you enter that forest over yonder, there is no guaranteeing that you will make it out alive. For I've seen near twenty men go in, but I've only collected four comment cards, which is to say the other sixteen either DIED, or felt no strong feelings, positive or negative, about the forest. Does it really sound worth it? Either you get killed or you waste a day tromping around in a pretty mediocre forest. Seems like a lose-lose to me.

The men who I have seen emerge alive have seemed very frightened. Or maybe it was me who was frightened, because it was like, whoa! I did not expect to see anyone emerging from the forest just now! The important thing is that there was fright, and that's not fun for anyone.

They say, these men who have emerged from the forest, that there are goblins afoot among the trees. Or they might have said "goldenrod under foot." Oddly enough, all four of those guys had pretty intense speech impediments. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Or maybe the forest GAVE them speech impediments! Nobody will ever be sure, because they didn't mention anything about it on their comment cards. All of them did say, however, that the forest was "delightful." But between you and me, they didn't seem like the kinds of guys who have super high standards, forest-wise. 

What were we talking about again? Oh, right! BEWARE!!

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