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Without Porpoise

by Derek Erdman

$19.00 + free shipping
Baby Blue
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 14 - Dec 16
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 11 - Dec 14
  • Standard International - Estimated delivery Dec 19 - Dec 21
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

There Once Was A Man From Nantucket

The most important thing you can do for your family is to protect them after you die.

But just a simple piece of paper might not be enough. There are hundreds of aquatic scoundrels who travel the country, looking for sad and lonely widows and widowers who fear being left alone forever.

They come on like big fish, just there for companionship, but in reality, they are mammals, wanting the same thing all mammals want. Before long that polite gentleman who always takes out the trash is ordering shrimp by the truckload and having a giant water tank added to the backyard… all with the money you meant for your loved ones to have.

Lawyers joke about it amongst themselves. The moment there’s a will, there’s a whale. Don’t leave your loved ones to figure out their own way in a moment of supreme grief. Invest in a giant squid, and keep your family safe… in the long term.

This message brought to you by the International Foundation For Giant Squids.

Wear this shirt: if you’re a whale who really wants to be in the Green Lantern Corps. Marketing never hurt anyone. It’s even the right color so you can impress the bosses.

Don’t wear this shirt: when lying on the beach. It might seem funny, but people don’t like to be fooled into pushing other people into the water.

This shirt tells the world: “Will’s around here somewhere, hang on, I’ll get him.”

We call this color: Baby Blue Whale (awwwwww)

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!

T-Shirts

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Women’s V-Necks

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Tank Tops

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Long Sleeves

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Pullover Hoodies

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Crewneck Sweatshirts

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Zip Hoodies

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Raglans

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 31.000s

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 12% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 37% one year old
  • 44% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

14%
7%
2%
1%
2%
3%
3%
5%
6%
7%
5%
6%
6%
4%
3%
3%
4%
1%
3%
2%
3%
4%
3%
3%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

0%
94%
2%
1%
2%
0%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Without Porpoise by Derek Erdman
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.