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Woodland Rescue

by ochopika

$19.00 + free shipping
Kelly Green
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Nov 26 - Nov 28
  • Express - Estimated delivery Nov 24
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

2nd Place in Derby 269: Worst. Job. EVER, Editor's Choice!

Thank you for calling Woodland Insurance. Please have your policy number ready. If this is an emergency, then please follow along like everyone else. What, you think you deserve special treatment because you're in trouble? You think everyone else called to just chat? C'mon!

If you're calling to make a payment, press 1. If you're calling to review your policy, press 2. If you require roadside assistance, press 3. If you-

You've called Woodland Insurance, the leading insurance company for woodland creatures. Are you seriously next to a road? I mean, honestly?

No, don't press 1. We're past that. Let's talk this out. Please answer 'yes' or 'no.'

I'm sorry: was that 'know' or 'no.'


As in, the opposite of 'yes'?

Well, well, well. Look who's caught in a lie then. Mr. "I need roadside assistance" isn't even roadside. You know, next time maybe wait to hear the whole menu before making your select-

Oh, now you go and press 0, huh? Trying to get to an operator? What's wrong, did I get too real for you? Please answer 'yes' or 'no.'

No? Yeah right. You can't handle me. But whatever, just tell me what's your problem here, anyway.

Okay, so when you say 'I'm a turtle and I'm on my back,' are talking literally on your back, or metaphorically? Press 1 for literally. Press 2 for metaphorically.

You pressed 1 for literally. Are you sure you didn't mean to press 2 and your finger slipped? Please answer 'yes' or-

Oh, this 0 crap again, huh? You know what? Forget it! GOOD-BYE AND GOOD LUCK!

Wear this shirt: when you're in a jam. Turtles love jam!

Don't wear this shirt: when you're in a pickle. Turtles hate pickles!

This shirt tells the world: "I don't mind asking friends to help me move."

We call this color: Kelly Green? Be a doll and flip me over, won't you?

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 11.441s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 22% one year old
  • 67% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Woodland Rescue by ochopika
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.