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Worth Two On The Shirt

by Tony Persons

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jun 24 - Jun 26
  • Express - Estimated delivery Jun 22
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Mechanical Avians

You can only give so much tat on credit.

Once upon a time, there was an Empress and a nightingale. Each day, the Empress would awaken and see the nightingale singing. “Oh, nightingale,” the Empress would say, “I am enamored of you so. There are days when I feel I only exist just to hear your beautiful voice.” And the nightingale would reply, “Hey, that’s great, now take off your royal shirt.”

The Empress would giggle and say, “Oh, nightingale! I could never do a thing like that! For I am an Empress and as such reserved for another who is better than you, although I am soooo enamoured with your lovely voice. Please, sing to me again.” And the nightingale would say “Look, baby, I’m a professional, you know, I don’t work for free. A songbird won’t give song on a tree that doesn’t give flower, if you follow me.”

And the Empress would scowl and stamp her royal foot and say “Nightingale, why can’t you just let me enjoy that beautiful song?” And the nightingale would reply “Look, baby, nature gave both of us gifts, if you follow me. And you’re not the only Empress on the planet. For example there’s this hot brunette about two castles over who starts drinking at like ten in the morning. You ain’t up for it, fine, no harm no foul, but don’t expect me to keep coming around. I’m a superstar, baby. I’m in my prime.” At which point the Empress would sigh and lift up her shirt and that would keep the dirty nightingale happy for about a week.

And so, like a beautiful clownfish in rapport with a much older, much richer anemone, the Empress and the nightingale lived happily ever after.

Wear this shirt: when you’re looking for a fancy way to demand appreciation. Especially in Spanish class.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re made nervous thinking about those little mechanical songbirds. You know, maybe you’re in a songbird union and afraid of being downsized because your job can be done by a machine. Those bluejays at the top won’t protect you anyway, they only ever think of the bottom line. Jerkfaces.

This shirt tells the world: “And if I sing in the way I do because I think it’s right that I should, it’s not to do evil to anyone, but to do everyone good .

We call this color: Browny McBrown-Brown from Brownsville. And when we do call it that, it just keeps on walking by.

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
5m 45.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 9% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 38% one year old
  • 44% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Worth Two On The Shirt by Tony Persons
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.