The protesters may have shouted her down, but Barbie was right: math is hard.

And for most of you, that question that made your math teachers so uncomfortable – “what am I ever going to need this for?” – turned out to be an apt one. All those years of schooling gave you was the false sense that you can accurately figure out a restaurant tip or a necessary quantity of cyclone fencing. Such hubris.

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if you could just pay some really smart person, like, fifty cents every time you need a complex math problem worked out? Math whizzes get jobs, waiters receive their proper tips, less cyclone fencing is wasted, and the rest of us have more mental energy to contemplate which Gossip Girl cast member is the hottest – what’s wrong with that?

Also, in Great Britain, they call it “maths”. That’s just messed up.

Wear this shirt: while you’re doodling spirals and stars in your notebook during math class.

Don’t wear this shirt: to interviews for any job involving numbers, or math, or money – in other words, just about any job except pro wrestler or Internet copywriter.

This shirt tells the world: “Hey, what’d you get for #9?”

We call this color: The Square Of The Hypotenuse Of A Right Triangle Is Equal To The Sum Of The Squares Of The Other Baby Blue Sides

Back to top