3rd place in Derby #65: Shirt as Costume, with 794 votes!

The murderous corsairs of the high seas committed some unspeakable acts of cruelty during their reign of nautical terror. But to their credit, there’s no confirmed report that they ever beat a dead horse. While we appreciate that a whole generation’s grog-awareness has been raised, we’re checking our pop-cultural watches wondering when this pirate fad is going to notice us checking our pop-cultural watches and take the hint. If we were dictator, we’d replace Talk Like A Pirate Day with Eat Like A Pirate Day. Piracy won’t seem quite so cute after a few meals of dried cod and worm-filled hardtack.

This shirt was designed by: Derby contestant blammoed, who as far as we know has never pirated so much as a leaked Chinese Democracy demo.

Wear this shirt: with an eyepatch.

Don’t wear this shirt: with two eyepatches.

This shirt tells the world: “It’s driving me nu- oh, wait, I forgot to strap on that steering wheel.”

We call this color: the Curse of the Brown Pearl.

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