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You Can’t Catch Me

by Spiritgreen

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer

The Gingerbread [Renaissance] Man

1st place in Derby #209: Fairy Tales, with 1014 votes!

Measuring out portions… err… I mean, proportions of man.

Journal Entry, Thursday, July the 28th

My research took an interesting turn this evening. First, I measured the distance from one tip of the specimen’s left hand to his right and the length of each leg and wrote down the measurements, which seemed accurate, in my notebook. Returning to the specimen, however, I swore that his left arm appeared to be shorter than it had just moments ago. My assistant, young Timothy, said that my mind was playing tricks on me, but as a man of science, I needed to know for certain. Sure enough, the arm’s length was shorter by two centimeters. Not being vain enough to consider myself incapable of error, I simply updated my measurements, but once again, upon returning something seemed different. This time, it was his right leg. I simply couldn’t believe it – the specimen’s proportions seemed to be changing with each moment that passed. Young Timothy was too busy nibbling on something in the corner to share in my excitement.

I continued to conduct various measurements and then record them for the next three hours, although, my mind clouded by the giddy haze of discovery, they felt like mere moments. The thing that finally removed me from my trance was when I returned to the specimen and found his head removed and gone. My shock nearly doubled. “Great God! I see what is happening here!” I shouted, which frightened poor young Timothy so much that he lept out of his chair and wiped some crumbs off of his collar, nervously. My explanation, though, appeared to put him at ease for some reason. What I explained to him, and what I plan to explain to the world by way of an academic essay, is that the length of a human being’s arms and legs, long thought to be unchanging after the final growth spurt of youth, is actually variable! And what’s more, the head is not necessary for human survival! But more on this tomorrow. Tonight, I must celebrate with an ale and a fine meal. I’ve invited young Timothy to join me in celebration, but oddly enough, he says that he’s full.

Wear this shirt: whenever you think you knead to.

Don’t wear this shirt: gingerly

This shirt tells the world: “I’ve got baking down to a science.”

We call this color: a bit doughy with a creme topping

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


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Purchaser Experience

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  • 9% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

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  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 27% one year old
  • 61% > one year old

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  • 7% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

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You Can’t Catch Me by Spiritgreen
$19.00 Sold Out Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.