This is a little too on the nose, if you ask me.

Oh man, have you heard of this new thing called the Internet? It's AMAZING! Basically it's a complex system of networked computers that connects people across the globe and allows me to tell them all how much they suck at any time! It's fantastic!

Artists, musicians, comedians, writers, and more are online, pouring out their souls and just waiting for me to tell them how stupid it is and question their sexuality for creating it and imply that even a person of severe mental deficit would do better!

I've never felt more alive! It's like I finally found my calling: spreading misery and disdain across the globe!

Create? Why would I bother creating something? So some other assh%&$ can come along and tell me it's bad? Why would I do that to my self esteem? It's so much easier to sit on my ever-widening ass and explain to people why I'm superior and why my opinion of their work should be the end-all, be-all!

Why me? Why NOT me? Someone has to keep these people in line, or else we'd be up to our knees in meaningless and trivial "art" that I don't like! Is that the kind of world you want to live in, where people are unafraid to chase their dreams and pursue their hearts' desires because no one is waiting in the wings to ridicule their efforts and harangue them with scornful laughter? Not me, no way. There have to be standards, and obviously they should be my standards since I know the most about everything and am generally the best at everything, despite never actually doing anything.

I'm so lonely.

Wear this shirt: While angrily explaining to a stranger why their shirt sucks.

Don't wear this shirt: If you want to make friends.

This shirt tells the world: "I have a pretty convincing case for why I'm right. I just need anyone on earth to listen to me."

We call this color: Brownbeaten

Back to top