2nd place in Derby #103: Outer Space, with 860 votes!

It was always lonely out there. Like deep center field, there was no one really to talk to, and no one ever visited. Maybe every now and then a probe might pass by on the way to the great unknown, and that was nice, but it never lasted very long. The only thing that really made it worthwhile was knowing at that least everyone was on the same team. It might not have been the most important job, but it was a job, and it was appreciated. There was that recognition every time a first grader learned the solar system, and that was nice.

But now? Now it’s even more lonely. Even more lonely than out by Planet X. Because they just don’t know about Planet X, they just haven’t found it yet. But, with me, it came down to a vote. They all had a little popularity contest, and decided sorry, you’re not good enough, get out. All the way out at the edge, there wasn’t even time to appeal or try and rally some support. There was just a breakup letter out of nowhere and that awful feeling of rejection.

My stomach hurts a lot. I don’t really eat lunch any more. I just pick at my food and wait for the bell to ring. Maybe one day I’ll slip out of my orbit and just go flying off into the galactic center. I bet no one would even notice I was gone.

Wear this shirt: when you feel that you’re not getting the recognition that you deserve.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re one of those jerkfaces who decided that Pluto wasn’t a planet. You’re first against the wall when the revolution comes, nerdlingers. Just be glad that Pluto’s revolution takes 247.7 earth years. If you’d pulled that crap on Mercury you’d have gotten the overheated beatdown about eight or nine times already.

This shirt tells the world: “No, Mom, we only need eight pickles today. And I don’t like scientists any more.”

We call this color: Maybe I’ll Go Out On The Grass With The Goth Kids

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