Zombies? Pfft.

It's fun to think about the zombie apocalypse, you guys, it really is. It's fun to imagine the world being thrown into turmoil by an outbreak of some mysterious disease. But let's be honest: if there was such an outbreak, we'd squash it. Quickly.

Why? Because of all this zombie stuff we have now. Movies, games, TV shows, shirts. Seriously, when you see a zombie in a dark alley, are you going to walk up to it, saying, "Sir? Sir, are you okay?" No way! You're going to get out of there, go home, get your gear, and take to the streets, because you've been WAITING PATIENTLY for your turn to live out the Night of the Living Dead, or Dawn of the Dead, or World War Z, or whatever…

Except it won't go how it goes in those movies, because EVERYONE who's not a zombie will also be out hunting zombies, so the whole thing will be a wrap in, like, a half-hour. 

See, movies ruin everything.

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