For people who love everything about the classic winter sweater except the warmth.

Temperatures are rising around the world. Within America’s borders, the general migration to the warmer climes of the South and West continues. And the growing Hispanic influence on American culture means that more of us are finding warmth in hot peppers and steamy Latin romance. Clearly, the sweater’s influence is starting to unravel.

But what about enthusiasts of gaily colored winter-themed knitwork? Must they sweat through the coming thermo-apocalypse simply to preserve this rich tradition of artistry and ridicule?

Don’t sweat it, yarnophiles. Just as we have for the past three years, we’re offering a short-sleeved, lightweight alternative that lets your body heat out and keeps the tacky cool in.

Wear this shirt: with the thermostat up, if you get cold.

Don’t wear this shirt: over a sweater. That’s a terrible look and a questionable concept.

This shirt tells the world: “Oh, the weather outside is frightful because it shows such a sudden, sharp deviation from the past century of climate data.”

We call this color: We All Wore Black To Aunt Norma’s Funeral.

Back to top