“D-d-d-donna? T-t-t-tommy? Come on you guys, quit kidding around! Look, I know you’re hiding! I’m gonna tell mom if you don’t come out! Guys? Listen, I know you’re down there! I know it! Okay, I’m coming down! Don’t try to jump out and scare me because it won’t work, okay? I’m coming down the stairs now!”

dzzztolice say that the escaped drink manufacturer began his business with a stand in front of his boyhood home, and are worried thatdzzzt

“That’s not funny, you guys, turning the tv on and off like that just to scare me! I’m gonna tell mom you did this! Guys? You’re gonna be in a lot of trouble you know! You better come out now if you don’t want me to tell!”

dzzztver three hundred pounds of sugar has gone missing from a nearby refinerdzzzt

“Guys, come on! This isn’t funny! Come out and… Jimmy, finally. You know, you really scared me when you… Jimmy? What’s wrong, Jimmy? Why is your forehead so damp? Jimmy? Jimmy? OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

dzzzta statement saying there is no cause for Lemonville residents to be alarmedzzzt

This shirt was designed by: this new fellow you’ve probably never heard of named jamescho84, or as we like to call him on the in-house paperwork, Captain Jimbo Hapsburg-Cho of the 84th Welsh Dragoons. It’s really strange how we do that and no one is sure why we started. It takes so long to write. Anyway, he’s still got three other shirts for sale.

Wear this shirt: when you’re shopping for a used car. It’ll let ‘em know you mean business.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’ve got a paper cut. It’ll really sting.

This shirt tells the world: “Do you still hear them, Clarice?”

We call this color: There once was a lemon named Dean/Who thought refrigerators were unclean/So he stayed on a plate/And then one night went “Wait!”/For the mold had turned him Kelly Green.

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