Winning the Race

by sekiyoku


Printed to order

Ships in 1-2 business days.

Kelly Green
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 10 - Jul 13
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jul 06
add to cart

Slow, steady, and heavily armed.

1st place in Derby #124: Naughty and Nice, with 1346 votes!

And as the smoke cleared and the crowd of woodland creatures began peering out from their hiding places, it was obvious that this race had been decided. Toby spat angrily on the ground.

“Anyone else have something to say?” he growled. Max Hare’s body shuddered as his nerves fired their last, feeble signals to muscles that had seconds ago been pumping dutifully to careen the cocky rabbit through the woods but now lay silent. The smell of singed fur hung in the air, fetid and thick.

Max’s widow Harriet sobbed just a few yards away as Theo Badger restrained her from clamoring out into the street to hug Max one last time. No one knew exactly what was going through Toby’s mind, and it was too dangerous to risk retrieving their friend’s body.

“Shut that she-rabbit up!” Toby bellowed. This was all wrong. His was to be a tale of redemption, of overcoming impossible odds to prove that sometimes the little guy could win. Now, though, he was a monster. His own children cowered from his gaze behind a fern. “What did you people expect?!” his voice cracked, “That stupid rabbit has picked on me for 16 years! I have limits!” Toby fired randomly into the sky. Where did it go from here? Surely the police were on their way. He had more than enough firepower to end them as well, but then what? A life on the run, as an outcast?

Slowly, the lowly tortoise reached up for his WarSnapper Mk. VII Battle Armor’s self destruct switch.

“I didn’t do this,” Toby said, “and neither did Max. It was you! All of you! No one would ever dare say anything, for fear of disrupting the harmony of the forest! Our blood is on your hands, and now so is your own!” Toby flipped the switch.

The last thing the animals saw was a light whiter than Max’s fur.

Wear this shirt: to the petting zoo. Teach those bunnies that a little respect can go a long way.

Don’t wear this shirt: to the Herpetarium. You don’t want to encourage anyone.

This shirt tells the world: “Root for the little guy? I am the little guy.”

We call this color: Gone Wrong Green

Back to top


Pantone Colors:
White - 7488C - 7445C- 3308C - 532C - Black

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 15.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 30% one year old
  • 54% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (300 comments)
Winning the Race by sekiyoku
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.