1st Place in Derby #364: $10k Cup, Round 2: Style, with 356 votes!

We come up with a lot of stuff to try to make sense of the world. That’s hardly new. Some of our favorite ancient civilizations, confounded and perplexed by our planet hovering in a seemingly infinite space, cooked up the notions of “World Elephant” and “World Turtle” to explain the cosmic state of our big blue marble.

They didn’t know it at the time, but there’s a whole menagerie of animals we rely on to support all manner of stuff in our universe. For example:

- Saturn Octopus: An octopus tasked with the heady job of clutching onto the planet Saturn and all the rings it won in a bet against Neptune about whether Pluto was a boy or a girl.

- Milky Way Cow: An irritable Milking Shorthorn whose utters are in a constant state of lactation.

- Drawer Puppy: An invisible puppy that lives in every underwear drawer and eats your socks.

- Ear Bee: The bee that migrates through every human ear, fills it with wax, and moves on to the next. Ear Bee doesn’t mean harm. Ear Bee means well.

- Nose Moth: It’s … a lot like Ear Bee.

- Cloud Bird: The loquacious parrot who poops our clouds.

- Cloud Bird Bird: The loquacious parrot who eats the clouds that the aforementioned parrot poops out OH NO NOW I SEE WHAT THAT OLD LADY WAS TALKING ABOUT.

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