1st place in Derby #183: The Stars, with 1399 votes!

Yeah, I know that the writeup title refers to a joke about the PLANET Pluto which is featured at the bottom of today’s shirt like some kind of dying fruit, but WHATEVER. I’m leaving it there as a protest against a tyrannical regime of scientists and artists that REFUSE to accept Pluto’s rightful place in our Solar System.

I don’t get it. Did we all just let the rage we felt burning in our hearts and guts die out when they decided to gratuitously declare Pluto a dwarf planet? Was that honestly enough for you people? “Oh, well, that’s kind of a planet, isn’t it? I guess we’ll just go back to waiting for Voyager One to cross the heliopause while shirt designers salt in the wounds of true Pluto-philes everywhere.” Well, not me, buddy. I didn’t join the Junior Astronomer’s Club back in ‘87 just to have everything I know and love about our little place in the galaxy blown away by things like FACTS. Pluto 4 LIFE, eggheads. Word.

I’ll probably still buy the shirt, though. It is awfully pretty. I’ll just say that little sphere at the bottom is the moon or something.

Wear this shirt: in front of that attractive young astronomer you’ve had your eye on.

Don’t wear this shirt: if your last experience with giant foliage turned into a “giant” mess.

This shirt tells the world: “Keep your roots in the ground and keep reaching for the stars.”

We call this color: Asphalt The Universe

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