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Gettysburg Address

by Shigwarm

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 16 - Dec 17
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 13
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Abe “The Ham” Lincoln

First Place in Derby #36 (Text As Art), with 886 votes!

“Hello, Gettysburg! How y’all doin’ today? Nice day to dedicate a cemetery, hunh? Listen, I’m going to be brief, because I know a lot of people are dying to get in there. Heh! Heh!

“But seriously. I’ve been to a lot of Civil War memorials, and I just want to say that Gettysburg really knows how to put one of these on. That’s right, give yourselves a hand! I was just up in Appomattox for one of these staged ferrotype ops you have to do, and let me tell you—those Virginians think they’re pretty solemn. I want to say to them—if you want to see solemnity, you come to Gettysburg! Yeah!

“But I gotta mention your mayor! Woodforde J. Chesterview, mayor of Gettysburg. Listen, this guy—he’s a nice guy, but I’m not sure you want him overseeing the town’s budget. You know what he said to me when I arrived just now? He said ‘Mister President, do you have a twin brother? Because I need change for Alexander Hamilton.’ Heh! Heh!

“But seriously. I want to thank the Ladies’ Auxiliary for the great spread they put together. Give them a hand. Wasn’t the food great? I had about fifteen of those cheese muffins, I couldn’t help myself. They’re going to stop calling me ‘the Great Emancipator’ and start calling me ‘the Greatly Constipated.’ I’m serious! Heh! Heh!

“But seriously, folks—four score and seven years ago…”

This shirt was designed by: Shigwarm, whose favorite president is actually Garfield.

Wear this shirt: for major suck-up points with your American History teacher.

Don’t wear this shirt: to anyone’s home who owns a bumper sticker emblazoned with the words “will rise again.”

This shirt tells the world: “When I described myself as ‘buff’ in my personals ad, I meant ‘Civil War buff.’”

We call this color: Manassas Grass

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 10.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 9% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 37% one year old
  • 48% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

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Gettysburg Address by Shigwarm
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.