We sing today of good Sir John
Who bravely stood before his lawn
With well-tuned steed and polished rake
And after he did grill a steak

Hey nonny nonny and fiddle dee dee
Sir John did drive over a hive of bees
He ran inside, then clad in steel
He stepped again behind the wheel

Sir John’s good neighbor was Peasant Ray
He looked at the lawn in a jealous way
Sir John’s was beautiful, lush and green
It got him an O.B.E. from the Queen

Sir John sat down with a lemonade
He looked at the the lawn as it lay splayed
He smiled to himself as he’d smiled before
And promised next time he’d just hire the squire next door

This shirt was designed by: You’re looking at another shirt by Chogentry. Thanks for joining forces this time so that you wouldn’t take two of the three weekend slots… oh, wait, you did that anyway. Well, at least all those other shirts you’ve designed on your own will have company. Could you be the most worn people in history? Not counting Ralph Nader. I mean look at the guy, you can’t look much more worn than that.

Wear this shirt: when you’re composing your letter about how Nader is still a force in politics and how you can make everything from soap to ponies out of hemp and how whoever wrote this copy should be fired for crimes against freedom. No one ever sends us letters so we’d actually be very happy to get one. We’re so lonely.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re not prepared to take a return blow a year and a day from now. It’s just the rule of the game.

This shirt tells the world: “Happy Father’s Day!”

We call this color: A Knight Goes Through Dangers The World’s Never Seen/To Gain Praise For His King And Glory For His Queen/And Then Drinks He His Ale And Desires Most Keen/And So Catches The Pox From That Slag Kelly Green

Back to top