Cats and dogs do very different things.

Beautiful dog!

"Thanks! We're on our way to obedience class. He knows quite a few commands!"

Oh, neat! So does my cat! 

"Your cat? Really?"

Yeah, why so surprised?

"Well, because you can't train cats to do stuff."

That is NOT true! You can train them to do all sorts of stuff! In fact, I challenge you and your dog to an obedience-off against me and my cat, right here, right now.

"Challenge accepted."

You can go first.

"Fine. Sit, Sparky. Good boy! Your turn."

Okay. Lay there without a care in the world, Jerome. Good kitty.

"That's a command?"

Yeah, I taught it to him. Your turn again.

"Fine. Lay down, Sparky. Good boy!"

Jerome, bathe yourself with an air of indifference. That's my good kitty!

"That was a coincidence that he started bathing just then."

No it wasn't.

"…"

Out of tricks?

"No! Here, roll over, Sparky! No, over! OVER! Ugh. We're still working on this one."

Sure. My turn! Don't even acknowledge me, Jerome. Keep lying there unperturbed, flaunting your independence in the face of human society. Good kitty! 

"This is ridiculous! That is NOT a trick!"

But he did it when I said to. 

"You know what, forget it! I'm out of here! You and your stupid cat are the worst."

Another sore loser, eh, Jerome?

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